


Miss You...

by RanmaruKirino3



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Ares no Tenbin, Inazuma Eleven: Orion no Kokuin
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RanmaruKirino3/pseuds/RanmaruKirino3
Summary: "You’d no longer smile at me,if I were to voice these unspeakable feelings.Honestly, it’s painful, agonizingly so–I’m sorry... I love you...I wish I could embrace you right now,take you away with me to somewhere far.But this tiny, impossible love of minewon’t reach you..." - Miss You... by MEZZO"KozouHiu / KiriKozou fic





	Miss You...

**Author's Note:**

> I advise listening to MEZZO"'s songs!

_**As we walked home side-by-side,** _  
_**our shadows swayed** _  
_**in the evening light–** _  
_**these are our tender moments.** _

  
Kozoumaru looked at Hiura as they walked at a slow pace on the way back to the dorms.

They had just finished the match against Perfect Spark. They had left the place early in order to get some rest.

The van had this suffocating silence on their way back. So the moment they hit the town where the Japan's dorm resides, Hiura had asked if he can just walk back home.

None of them can blame the blue haired boy. The shock of seeing his very own best friend working for Orion, doing underhanded tricks, probably even brainwashed by them...

It was too much for Inazuma Japan, but they knew it is worst for Inakuni Raimon... Especially Mansaku and Hiura.

Coach had permitted Hiura to leave, but Gouenji had protested that it was unsafe to be alone already, after what happened to Asuto.

Mansaku would've gone down with him, but the said teen was fast asleep along with the other defenders who had been sleeping gas-ed during the game.

In the end, it was Kozoumaru who volunteered.

He always had a soft spot towards Hiura. The boy was gentle, kind, and can actually make someone smile without having to try really hard. While Asuto's energy encourages everyone, Hiura's can bring the sense of comfort.

But there is one thing he realized during the days when they were roommates. He always wondered why Hiura always tended to be in the middle of Asuto and Mansaku. Or if they weren't present, he'd be with Michinari.

Hiura was, unconsciously, looking for a source of feel of being protected.

It was weird at first. Kozoumaru honestly thought that it was kind of pathetic to see him staying with the three every single minute of the day. Until Michinari, Okuiri and him had a serious talk about Hiura when the blue haired teen had nightmares for a week.

It turns out, that he gets nightmares every year at that certain week due to recalling how his parents died in a car crash when he was young.

Ever since that time, Kozoumaru had this protectiveness that he felt towards Hiura to the point he stayed beside him every time he can. He can still remember how reluctant Hiura was at first, until he just leaned on Kozoumaru as well and the two had this friendship that some can't understand.

Glancing at the said boy, who is refusing to look at him even for a moment, he could tell a lot of things.

1\. He was really really tired.

Kozoumaru could see how his eyes held this tired look on it. It wasn't just physically, but also mentally and emotionally.

Kozoumaru never saw that kind of desperation, hurt, confusion and many more emotions flash on the midfielder's face. And it was something he wished he would never EVER see again.

2\. He was angry at him.

Kozoumaru knew. He didn't have to ask Hiura about it. The moment Hiura approached him after hurting 'Asuto', he knew Hiura was angry. But the anger was overridden with hurt at the betrayal that's why it wasn't very much shown. But Kozoumaru knew. He could tell.

3\. He could see the way Hiura had been rubbing his left arm.

He saw the small wound caused by the taser when they were at the lockers. Hiura had rushed to change to hide it from everyone else. He probably thought (again) that the others were supposed to be prioritized over him. But at the van, Kozoumaru saw Hiura wincing every time the untreated wound would hit something.

He knew so much about the shorter boy, to the point it hurts.

**_Maybe it would’ve been better_ **  
**_if I had said something, anything–_ **  
**_But today, like every other day, I listened to you talk the whole way..._ **

  
"You should get that treated." Kozoumaru said softly to Hiura.

Hiura knew, though the voice sounded distant and uncaring, there was warmth and concern laced in it. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Let's get that treated."

"No... Its okay..." Hiura said softly

"Eh?" Kozoumaru said before blocking his way. There was an angry look on his eyes. But it held thousands of emotions as Kozoumaru stared at his purple ones. "Do you honestly think I'd just let it go untreated? Do you understand what you'd go through if that gets infected? It could cause you to get sick and you might not be able to play at the matches!"

"....why do you care?" Hiura asked softly. He didn't want to sound rude and distant.

He was disappointed at Kozoumaru for hurting Asuto, yes. But he'd never be angry at him. He never could...

"Because I-!" Kozoumaru paused for a moment "I-I care about you."

If only, Hiura wished. If only it was an I love you. Hiura would've said it as well.

 **_  
  
I want to tell you–_ **  
**_but I know these feelings are a double-edged sword_ **  
****_that will only trouble you, so I’ve locked them away._

  
Kozoumaru felt his heart race.

He almost confessed.

He wanted to.

But he can't.

Confessing would only result to damaging their already fragile friendship and he didn't want that.

He couldn't lose Hiura due to what he feels. It will make things awkward around them, to the point Hiura would distance himself away from him, until their friendship is severed.

  
_**You’d no longer smile at me,** _  
_**if I were to voice these unspeakable feelings.** _  
_**Honestly, it’s painful, agonizingly so–** _  
_**I’m sorry... I love you...** _  
_**I wish I could embrace you right now,** _  
_**take you away with me to somewhere far.** _  
_**But this tiny, impossible love of mine** _  
_**won’t reach you...** _

Hiura always wanted to tell Kozoumaru his feelings.

Even before they left the Raimon dorms to move to the Inazuma Japan representatives' dorms.

He got the courage to confess when they were given a chance to go back before they leave for Russia. However, Kozoumaru wasn't there.

And for Hiura, it only meant one thing: They aren't meant to be together.

And just as when he was finally able to hide his feelings really well, Kozoumaru shows up again.

Kozoumaru had changed, physically and had matured a bit attitude-wise. However, Hiura could still see the old Kozoumaru... The one that he fell in love with.

And he wasn't aware that tears were slowly running down his pale cheeks.

**_“We fought.” Upon seeing_ **  
**_those teary eyes of yours,_ **  
**_“I really want to protect you"_ **  
**_was all I could think, on that rainy day._ **

Kozoumaru felt his world stop when he saw tears steadily running down Hiura's cheeks.

He never wanted to see him hurt. To see him cry.

It felt as though his heart was being torn to shreds as he watched Hiura cry.

He shouldn't be like this. He wasn't supposed to suffer like this.

_**I reached out, gently** _  
_**and wiped those tears away, yet–** _  
_**It was as if you were far, far away, on the other side of the world.** _

  
Touching the pale cheek lightly, he ran his thumb on the trail of the tears. Wiping the tears away.

But it made him angry that more tears replaced the one that he had just wiped off.

"Hiura... Come on. You're very exhausted. And crying might make things worst for your condition." Kozoumaru said.

"I want to stop. But it hurts... Here..." Hiura said, clutching his jersey where his heart was.

Kozoumaru knew, that Hiura wasn't talking about a sickness.

He knew what that 'hurting' meant.

He knew, that Hiura feels the same way Kozoumaru feels for him. Only, it wasn't for Kozoumaru.

It was for someone else.

Hiura was here. At his arms' reach. He was touching him. And yet... His heart felt so far away.

**_All that lies ahead of these unspeakable feelings_ **  
**_are tears, shed for someone else–_ **  
**_And that hurts so much, my heart is breaking into pieces._ **  
**_I’m sorry... I love you..._ **  
**_I wish I could embrace you right now,_ **  
**_take you away with me to somewhere far._ **  
**_But this tiny, impossible love of mine_ **  
**_won’t reach you..._ **

  
Kozoumaru's first guess would be Asuto.

Seeing how the two are always seen together when they were at Japan.

But from Golem's stories, they were barely together when Inazuma Japan started.

Asuto was always around Nosaka and Haizaki, always going on Ichihoshi, and the only time he talks to Hiura is during a match or very rarely on the dorms.

Though Asuto wouldn't have intentionally done it, Kozoumaru couldn't help but to feel disappointed for neglecting him.

Hiura cares for him so much it was annoying.

He saw the way how Hiura looked when Asuto hadn't arrived home the day when he was introduced as the new member of Inazuma Japan.

He saw the way how Hiura checks on his phone every moment he can. Probably waiting for a text or a call.

He saw how Hiura had stayed on the living room until 3 AM waiting for Asuto in hopes that he would come back. Only to fall asleep there and be carried by Kazemaru back to his and Hiura's room.

And here he was, crying for Asuto. Asuto, again. It had always been Asuto for Hiura.

But he can't blame him.

Asuto had been there for him when they were young.

  
**_You’d no longer smile at me,_ **  
**_if I were to voice these unspeakable feelings._ **  
**_But even so, I want to stay by your side, forever–_ **  
**_I’m sorry... I love you..._ **  
**_I wish I could embrace you right now,_ **  
**_take you away with me to somewhere far._ **  
**_But this tiny, impossible love of mine_ **  
**_won’t reach you..._ **

  
Hiura was crying.

His heart hurt. He was confused. His head hurt from thinking about something so much.

Thinking about his feelings for Kozoumaru.

He knew he can never love him back.

Kozoumaru had always been interested in Gouenji. And only him.

Who was he to gain Kozoumaru's attention anyway?

His plays weren't impressive at all. The only useful hissatsu he got was Koori no Ya. Koori no Yari never went in on it own. It even had to be overridden with Death Crusher Zone just for it to go in the goal.

He was useless on the team. Why was he even here in the first place?

That is why he knew that Kozoumaru would never love him back.

That is why he knew he was right in trying to get rid of these feelings but somehow it would never go away.

It always kept coming back no matter how hard he tried to push it away.

No matter how badly he wanted it to be gone.

It hurts. So much.

To fall in love who would never see you just like how you see them.

  
**_won’t reach you..._ **

  
'Hiura... How can I ever show or tell how much I love you?'

'Kozoumaru... I always wanted to tell you how much I loved you...'

And yet, what they wanted to do more is protect their fragile friendship than ruining it from confessing.


End file.
